A couple of weeks ago, the proverbial poopy diaper hit the fan with Amy Grace's sleep habits. Things had been going fairly well until she turned about 6 months old. She slept with us all night every night until about 4 months, then started spending the first part of the night in her crib before I'd bring her back into bed with us around 2 am or so. There was the occasional night she slept through the night (ok, until 4 am, but still!), but for the most part she woke 1-2 times to eat and promptly went back to sleep, oftentimes even in her own crib. Then she cut two teeth and had a couple of colds, which made for a very whiny baby and a tired (and also whiny) mama. Utterly (and incorrectly) convinced that this was normal and just something that had to be fought through for the indefinite future, I started getting lazier and lazier about putting Amy Grace back in her bed because for awhile there she would wake up 20 minutes later, just as I was dozing off back into dreamland. This continued for most of the night and the sleep deprivation was getting the better of me. So by 8 months, she was essentially spending the majority of the night past 11 pm or so with us - which does wear on a marriage after the better part of a year. And things weren't getting better.
Thankfully, Brent got my thinking back on track with this one, especially after talking to many of our friends about their experiences, including a couple who had similar struggles with their 12-month-old and had tried the Ferber method, where you let the baby cry for increasing periods of time (3 min, 5 min, 10 min, etc) until they finally fall asleep. The baby-wearing, breastfeeding side of me recoiled somewhat at this idea, but the Coopers had had such success - along with everyone else - that I decided I needed to seriously humble myself and consider that maybe my "feelings" aren't always the best guide for what to do. God gave me a wonderful leader in Brent and I knew this would be a great exercise in letting go and trusting, which is something I am very weak in but trying to grow towards every day.
I have to admit that in my mind, this was going to be a terribly painful experience involving Amy Grace screaming for hours on end and suddenly losing all trust that we are going to care for her needs. This was not the case at all. At its worst, she cried for about half and hour tops, and most of that was more whiny than anything - she always got the most mad when I would leave the room again. She did fall asleep grasping the crib rails a few times (the video monitor has provided a lot of entertainment AND reassurance during this), and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard for me at first. However, the 3rd night was much much better, and last night (after about a week) she just laid her little head down and went right to sleep without any fussing whatsoever! She still occasionally wakes up and fusses for a minute or two at points during the night, but resettles herself pretty quickly until she's ready to eat somewhere between 1 and 4 am. I still put her down awake after that feeding, and one day we will drop that one too - but for now 1 waking per night feels like a dream (no pun inteded), and she's still pretty ravenous then so it seems like she truly is hungry, rather than waking out of habit.
Of course she still smiles as big as ever, and if anything she has even more energy during the day because she too is getting more rest at night! (Uh oh. :)) Our daughter is more resilient than I give her credit for, and its been a reminder to me that I need to grow a LOT in my own resiliency. Our world tends to baby everyone, from actual babies to adults, and I know this is a constant temptation for me, to baby myself and in turn, our daughter. I want her to grow up strong and resilient, and the only way she is going to do that is if she sees her mama growing up in those same things.
