The First Six Weeks...

Hard to believe that our little Amy is over six weeks old now! It has been a whirlwind since she was born, but also a lot of fun. Some of the highlights from her first six weeks in the world:



Milk-induced drunkenness:


First Iron Bowl party (2 weeks old):


First trip to the farm, complete with "extreme nursing" (nursing in a sling while riding on a golf cart on bumpy roads) (3 weeks old):


She is a wonderful baby, and such a joy to raise! We have been very blessed that she isn't colicky and seems to have naturally distinguished her days and nights, and sleeps for long chunks of time at night (like 3 and 4 hours. For an infant, sleeping "through the night" is actually defined as five hours at a time). We are spending the next 6 weeks (until i go back to work) getting her ready for daycare by spending more playtime in the crib and bouncer and getting more of a routine for getting up, naps, and bedtime. She has just started smiling a lot and it's so much fun to interact with her now that she's more responsive to everything. Can't wait to see what the next few weeks bring!

Reflections on the Birth

I wrote my last post quickly, in hopes that I could get most of the details down before i forgot them, but i also wanted to take some time to reflect on the more spiritual and emotional aspects of the experience. So here goes...

When I first found out I was pregnant, I never could have envisioned that by the time our baby was born, I would be such a strong natural birth advocate. I knew next to nothing about the advantages of natural birth, nor the upsetting state in which American maternity care finds itself. When Brent and I first discussed it, I wasn't sure if I'd want an epidural or not. However, before our wedding we had decided not to use hormonal birth control - instead opting to work with my body's natural rhythms - due to a bad experience with it and our growing conviction that it was not God's design for us to introduce artificial chemicals into my body in an attempt to make things more convenient for us. (And after living through the one month I was on it, I'd call the crazy mood swings I felt ANYTHING but convenient!) This decision planted the first seeds of my journey into natural childbirth. I wondered: "If we don't want to use mess with how I get pregnant, should we really be messing with how I deliver a baby?" So, I began researching epidurals and the health risks to mother and baby. The more I discovered about the negative aspects of epidurals and all of the interventions that tend to go along with it (especially induction and augmentation with Pitocin), the more I became convinced that this was something I wanted to do. It felt so similar to when we began researching hormonal birth control, and realized that something that is so accepted and common in our culture DOES affect your body in very significant ways that are often denied or downplayed by the medical community.

Over the following months, the more I learned, the more committed I became to pursuing a natural childbirth. (And the more I tried to talk everyone's ear off about it!) Of course, I wanted the best for myself and our baby and believed that I could achieve that by allowing my body to do what God designed it to do. However, avoiding the side effects of hospital interventions was the least of my motivations. The more God developed my view of childbirth - as He surely did - the more I began to see it as a way to grow in giving up control to Him and going through a challenging experience with faith, rather than fear. Genesis 3:16 reads: "To the woman he said, 'I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children." While this verse is often interpreted as a punishment for Eve's sin, I began to wonder if, in reality, it was "a gift in a black box," as a local ministry says of what we call "negative" circumstances. In the Garden of Eden, sin altered mankind in such a way that we could no longer live in perfect communion with a holy God in a perfect world. However, Brent and I believe that God uses those times of imperfection, and dare we say, outright struggle, to grow us closer to Him. What if the struggles of childbirth are not a punishment for our sin, but rather a blessed opportunity to grow closer to our Lord? The more I came to believe this, the more I knew I did not want to spurn the blessing God was offering me in this experience, however it turned out. I wanted to have the birth that HE wanted me to have, and to give that control over to God.

Looking back, I had a much more difficult labor than I ever imagined when I was pregnant. Two days of stop/start labor, plus 22 hours of steady labor at home, followed by 10 hours of labor at the hospital. When we finally got some rest, neither Brent nor I had really slept in about 72 hours. Sounds like one of those horror stories that women tell unsuspecting first-time pregnant women, doesn't it? Funny thing is, it was one of the BEST weeks of my life and our marriage. We were on cloud nine for several days, and staring into each other's eyes while slow-dancing during labor nearly brought both of us to tears several times. It is still hard to describe the feelings of love and oneness that passed between us that week, and especially that night in the hospital. Though my labor was not easy by any means, it was the best thing I ever did, and was exactly the labor that God intended for me. Considering how slow I progressed (it took those 22 hours at home to get just from 3 to 5 centimeters!), had we gone to the hospital earlier or pursued interventions, I feel CERTAIN I would have ended up with a c-section, as most OBs make fear-based decisions, and I was way, WAY off the "labor curve." As it was, we trusted the Lord with every step and honestly, at the time it didn't feel that difficult at all. At times I even remember being almost euphoric during contractions!

Going through my labor taught me a lot. The neat thing is that the key ways to get through labor - mainly, relaxing through the contractions (rather than fearing and fighting them) and focusing on getting through them one at a time - are how we should approach life as well. I have a tendency to get overwhelmed by focusing on the "wind and waves" and the difficulties that lie ahead; if you focus on how hard labor will get, the same thing will happen, and fear will set in. Brent did a great job of reminding me to stay in the present throughout the whole experience, as there were definitely times when I got overwhelmed or frustrated that I wasn't progressing as fast as I wanted. From now on, all I have to do when I face tough times is to remember the lessons I learned during Amy's birth. And that, perhaps, is one of the great blessings that God intended for women in childbirth. We have a lot to be thankful for!

Amy Grace's Birth Story

Amy decided to start making her entrance into the word in the wee hours of Tuesday November 11th - ironically, her official doctor due date! I woke up late Monday night/early Tuesday morning with pretty mild contractions, though they were strong enough to wake me up. We'd been practicing timing the increasing Braxton-Hicks contractions throughout the weekend, so the stopwatch was on my nightstand, and I managed to roughly time them in my half-asleep state. They continued for 2 or 3 hours at 9 minutes apart before fading completely away by the morning.

Brent and I went in to see the doctor around 9 am on Tuesday, as it was standard practice at their office to see you on your due date if you hadn't delivered already. I'd been just a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced the week before, but apparently those early morning contractions had been doing their job - I was now 3 cm dilated, but still 50% effaced. I was hooked up to fetal monitors to check on Amy's heart rate and track any contractions. Her heart rate was strong and steady, but in that entire 30 min or so, I didn't have ONE contraction! The last test was an ultrasound. The doctor was concerned about possible low amniotic fluid levels and a big baby (despite there not being any indication of that and me not even having passed the ESTIMATED due date yet). Had my fluids been low (or the weight been very high), she might have pressed for induction at this point, but luckily they were right on target and Amy "weighed" in at 8 lbs 4 oz. That was just what I expected, though these weight estimates can be up to 20% off and are known to be inaccurate most of the time. We were sent home with an appointment to see the doc again on Friday if I hadn't delivered yet. At this point, we decided that it as best for me to go ahead and stop working, since it seemed I could go into "official" labor at any time.

Late Tuesday night, I experienced the same sort of thing that I had the night before - mild contractions around 9 min apart. Strong enough again to disturb our sleep, but not increasing in intensity, duration, or frequency. Yet again, they faded away by Wednesday morning. As we had no idea when labor would really start, Brent stayed home with me and tracked the contractions that I DID have (there were a few throughout the day, but nothing ever built towards labor). However, in the evening things started to pick up. At this point we were spending pretty much all of our time on the screened in porch, watching movies to pass the time between contractions. They would start to build, but any time that I got frustrated or upset, they'd fade away. I'd say that consistent, active labor really started around 10 pm, but I peaked out about 1 am while taking a bath, with contractions about 6 or 7 minutes apart and increasing in intensity. Though neither of us slept much at all that night, the contractions did fade some as morning approached. We saw the sun rise Thursday morning, and around 6 am we dragged ourselves to McDonald's for breakfast sandwiches. Since I'd read that midwives often recommend having some wine when labor drags on and on, I had a couple of glasses with breakfast and managed to sleep for an hour or two in the papasan chair. I'd discovered by this point that lying down during a contraction made it a LOT worse, so the chair helped elevate me a little bit.

We spent all of Thursday on the porch, still watching movies and episodes of Friends. My contractions were much more consistent throughout the day, and we were starting to think that perhaps it would be time to go in soon. Around 4 pm, however, Brent was taking a nap (it's a lot easier to stay awake when you're the one IN labor! we'd been up for so long by this point!) and I was draped over the exercise ball watching Shrek as the contractions seemed to be fading away again. I got super frustrated at this and was none too pleasant when Brent woke up. He talked to me about being positive again and needing to "get back on the horse", and at this point something clicked in my heart to really commit to having that baby soon. My contractions picked back up and over the next 4 hrs or so, edged to 6 min apart, then 5, then 4. By this point I was pacing back and forth between contractions and would stop and sway my hips or dance during one (we were watching various music videos by this point) - moving my hips helped a LOT. I was also very focused on not fighting my body, and used a technique called "horse lips" that I'd read about in Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth, where you exhale through loose lips during a contraction to help keep everything in the pelvic area nice and relaxed. It sure helped! Eventually we made the decision to call the doctor. My doc was on call that night, so we gathered up all of our stuff and headed in. Since I hated sitting or lying down during a contraction, I knelt backwards on the seat and hugged the seatback all the way there. Thankfully, things seemed to slow down just enough during the car ride to make it bearable.

Once we checked into the hospital, we found out I was 5 cm dilated and 100% effaced! Halfway there! They put me on the monitors for 15 minutes and briefly hooked me up to an IV to get antibiotics as I was Group B Strep positive. (If you have an epi or are induced, you have to be monitored constantly and have an IV the whole time, which really limits your movement and options during labor.) They also took my blood pressure, which was slightly elevated, but didn't concern the nurse as that's really to be expected when you're IN LABOR. However, my doctor - who had been touchy abut my blood pressure for several weeks at this point - decided to recheck it DURING a contraction and of course got a very high reading. She ordered additional bloodwork and instructed the nurses to check my BP every 15 minutes, but they assured us that they really weren't concerned about the reading. I also assured the doc that I had felt fine - no headaches, blurred vision, etc - to which she replied that that didn't really matter, I could still have a seizure anyway. (My next check was well within the range of normal).

Over the next couple of hours we were pretty much left to ourselves. We had a fabulous nurse that assured us that I was doing great, and would come in every once in awhile to make sure everything was ok. We spent the time slow dancing or just walking around the room (writing this almost three weeks later, it's a little hard to remember exactly what happened!) When the nurse checked me again, I was at 7 cm and the baby had dropped slightly (she stayed pretty high right up until labor). They all thought I'd be pushing her out by about 2:30. Around midnight, my water broke while Brent and I were slow dancing to one of the mixes he'd made me when we were dating - THAT was quite the memory ;) At my next checks I was 8 cm, then 9 - almost there! Labor was pretty intense by this point, and all I remember is being draped over the elevated head of the bed and moaning my way through each contraction. At this point, either the nurse or the doc realized that I still had part of the amniotic sac left intact under the baby's head, and the doc broke the rest of it for me and checked me again - and said I was only 7 cm. (By the way, it's well within the range of normalcy for the water bag to stretch your dilation some, and then for it to "snap back" once it's fully broken). But the doc didn't believe I'd ever been at 9 cm, and all of a sudden started saying I'd "fallen off the labor curve" and wasn't progressing fast enough...that maybe I'd need a Foley catheter (to measure the strength of my contractions, in case they weren't hard enough) and an epidural, or some Pitocin to move things along (which makes labor a LOT more painful and hard to handle without an epi), or even a c/s as she still thought the baby might be "too big".

At this point, I fell apart emotionally. I'd been in hard labor for HOURS and here comes the doctor telling me that I might not be able to have the natural birth that I wanted. I started crying and tensing up, which of course made the contractions hurt worse as well. I don't remember much from this time period, but the doc agreed to come back in half an hour to monitor my progress and we'd make a final decision then. Brent helped me get into the shower - I was hoping that the warm water would help me relax again - and asked me what I wanted to do, but I was so upset that I was shaking so bad I couldn't even talk. The water did help calm me down, though, and after speaking with the nurse (who assured us that we were doing great and she didn't see ANYTHING abnormal about what had happened that night), we decided that if it came to that, we'd opt for the Pitocin next. At this point, Brent left me in the shower with some applesauce to regain my strength, and deep down in my soul I decided that we were JUST GOING TO DILATE ALL THE WAY. I started yelling and moaning all sorts of things - not really from pain, because I still would better describe contractions as very intense energy that has to be discharged from your body somehow, and making noise is a great way to do that. But I went from being a little apprehensive about the last stage of labor and the birth to welcoming it! Sweet Brent came and got me out of the shower shortly before the half hour was up and wrapped me in a warm towel to keep my body from getting too shocked from the cold. The doc came back in around 5 am, and lo and behold I was at 8.5-9 cm. I had dilated almost 2 cm in 30 minutes! Once she left, the nurses leaned over and said "THAT just saved us. Good job!" Brent followed my doc out in the hall and let her have it for being so negative when there was NO reason to start making fear-based decisions, especially when she hadn't been there laboring with us all night like the nurses had (we hadn't seen in her in like 4 hours), and the baby had been doing fine all along. While she insisted that she needed to tell me all of the options, he told her that she should discuss those with HIM, not with the emotionally and physically strung-out woman that's been in labor for like 3 days at this point. I'm so lucky to have someone who will stand up for me like that!

It was now time for the shift change, and our sweet nurse that had supported us all night had to leave, but kept assuring us that "Daphney was on her way!" and that she had all kinds of tricks up her sleeve for natural birth. At this point I was leaning headfirst over a rocking chair while the nurses held the heartrate monitor on me (since I hadn't been able to stand sitting down through the monitoring for hours at this point) and I kept yelling things like "COME ON AMY!! WE'RE GETTING TO 10!!" (Another technique I'd read about in Ina May's book: visualizing and saying what you want to happen). Brent came back in and I think was a little shocked at the whole scene :) Shortly after this, Daphney (our new nurse) said that she had a way for me to lie on the bed while laboring that had proven very effective for her other mothers. I was wary about lying down, but as Brent said, I just needed to let the contractions intensify even more, even if it was hard. So I lay down on my left side, and after some span of time, Daphney said I was fully dilated and could start pushing! I never felt the "urge to push," so she told me how and I pushed for 20 min with Daphney and Brent each holding my legs back. The baby crowned, and Daphney had Brent call the doc and delivery techs. She told me to quit pushing at this point, which is next to impossible if you don't have an epidural! I managed to hold on for a couple of minutes, but just as I saw the doc entering the room, I couldn't help it anymore and pushed once more - and out shot our precious baby!! Daphney and Brent delivered her together, which had a sense of justice to it as well, since the doctor that didn't believe I could deliver her without intervention wasn't even there. But 75 minutes after she tried to tell me I couldn't do it, I pushed out our 7 lb 11 oz baby - with no conehead to speak of, and a hand up by her shoulder to boot!! Funny how she wasn't "too big" after all :)

Amy was born at 6:18 am, started nursing immediately, and was absolutely perfect in every way :)

She's Here!

Amy Grace Shepherd arrived at 6:18 am on Friday, November 14th, after several days of start-stop labor at home and about 10 hrs of labor in the hospital. We were able to have the natural birth that we hoped for, and it was by far the most amazing experience of our lives and our marriage! Birth story to come when i am not typing with one hand and holding a baby in the other :) Pics are here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/emloop/AmyGraceShepherd#

Baby Prediction Pool!

Ok, I know I said that there would be no more posts, but I wanted you all to know about a baby prediction pool that my dad started. Here's the info:

There will be three different categories:
1) Date/time (to the minute)
2) Weight (to the ounce)
3) Length (to the inch)

Participants will be ranked in each category according to how close they are to the baby's official stats. Rankings will then be totaled across all 3 categories, with the winner being the person with the lowest overall ranking. Ties will split ranks. Winner takes all.

$5 entry can be made by sending an e-mail with your predictions in all 3 categories to loop@uab.edu (Dad / Mike Loop).

"Level Playing Field" info:
Official (doctor's/7-week ultrasound) due date: 11/11/08
Unofficial (Emily's best estimate) due date: 11/7/08
Our heights: 5'8" (Emily) and 5'10" (Brent)

The Waiting Game

At this point, we are really just waiting for Nublette to come any day now. At almost 38 weeks along, she would be quite healthy and not even that "early." Exciting, but sure makes it hard to concentrate at work! Pretty much everything is ready for her arrival and we can't wait to meet her, but I do hope she stays cookin' a few more weeks. At the most she should be here in a little over 4 weeks, but with no late babies in either of our immediate families, I doubt it will be that long. Who knows, though!

Also, I've decided not to update the blog anymore until Nublette is here. Though I'm going to the doctor every week now, I'm not sure how much good those check-ups are doing me, much less everyone else, and I think up-to-the-minute updates would just make me crazy :) There's no way to know when she will be here! So, I will update again with pics and a birth story once Nublette has arrived.

(Almost) 37 Weeks...

The biggest news from this week was that I did indeed get cleared to go with Brent to Jake and Holly's wedding this weekend - yay! Of course things can ALWAYS change quickly, but from the look of things, it's pretty doubtful I'll be going into labor this weekend :) (I think the best comment of the visit was "WOW that baby is still REALLY HIGH!") I guess I always really knew that - I told Brent last night that I'd meant to call the vet and get the dogs set up to board while we're gone, and he said "but we didn't even know until today if you were going...". Right. Guess I just figured that all along (or else preggo brain is just getting to me big time :)

No pics today or tomorrow since we'll be leaving town early in the morning (yay!). Hope to have one or two from the weekends festivities once we get back. Note to self: USE YOUR CAMERA!

On a totally different note, it is truly amazing how God works all things for our good, even that which we can't see at the time. He's been really working on some attitudes in our hearts this past week, and it's pretty cool to see how things come out in their own time. I'm also in awe of the incredible journey He's taken us on throughout this pregnancy, and how we can see just how thoroughly He's been preparing us for this next stage of our lives, and this wonderful blessing that is our little girl.

36 Weeks!

At 36 weeks...

Just 3 weeks ago, at 33 weeks...

Just four weeks left to go now! It's been a busy week of getting ready for baby. As I said a few days ago, I made a lunch run to Babies 'R Us and picked up some of the major things we'd want to have on hand when the baby comes. We're still in the process of unpacking and organizing everything, but getting closer every day. I've got a load of baby clothes and sheets in the wash as we speak! (And can I just say, I don't really buy into the Dreft baby detergent mania and will eventually just buy fragrance free regular detergent, but we did receive a bottle of it from one of Brent's coworkers, and I have to admit that it smells great!)

I worked like a busy bee at work "getting my affairs in order". I've got almost everything done that I wanted to have done before I left, and joked with my boss that of course now she'll be late, and I'll spend the last two weeks just going through the mounds of magazines that have piled up over the past few months. (We have a group subscription to other titles like Gourmet, Bon Appetit, Martha Stewart Living, etc, so we can see what other magazines are covering at similar times of the year. While it may sound appealing to sit back and go through like 8 magazines a month - and get paid for it - it is something that always gets put on my backburner!)

Nublette continues to grow like crazy, as you can see from the pictures above, but supposedly she'll start to slow down now. I've been trying to figure out how she's positioned and what she's doing in there, but often that's easier said than done. My best guess is that she's head down and at a diagonal of sorts, with her feet up near my right ribs.

I'm still feeling good, though started to have some swelling in my legs and ankles this week, mostly from sitting down so long. I count myself pretty lucky to have made it this far without any swelling, so that's certainly no big deal (plus, I can chalk up some of the recent weight gain to water :). Oh! And I had a true, out-of-character, bona fide craving this week. One day at lunch I reaaaaallly wanted a fried chicken sandwich and fries from our office cafeteria...mostly the fries. But they'd changed the type of fries and they really weren't very good. Plus, there were no chicken sandwiches left, just hamburgers. I reluctantly ate both but still hadn't satisfied my craving, so I actually went to the vending machine and bought some chips. CHIPS. I don't think I have ever in my LIFE sought out chips! (I'll eat them if they're around, but I've always been a sweet tooth girl.) They sure hit the spot on Thursday, though! That was pretty funny to me.

Speaking of nesting...

I totally nested at my cubicle desk today :) I've learned (thanks FlyLady) that one of the best ways to tackle overwhelming-looking tasks, especially those you've put off for awhile, is just to take 15 minutes to work on it and see where you get. YOu can stop after that, and the whole point is to NOT take 3 hours making the project way more complicated than it is (perfectionism), and yet still not get anything done.

The great thing about this is that often those 15 minutes are enough to get the entire task done anyway! (For example, I know that it takes just 5 minutes to unload the dishwasher and 10 to change the bedsheets, so there are never any excuses to put it off.) So after a couple of meetings meant to nail down some production details for while I'm gone, I was feeling buried under mounds of paper and just general junk that had accumulated on my desk. While these things never get as bad as they used to anymore, it had still reached that "overload" mode. I was trying to get some edits done for our Holiday package and wanted to keep working on those, but told myself "hey, I'll take 15 minutes and get as organized as I can."

Well, it really took me 25 minutes, but before long I had a organized, sparkling clean desk once again. (Had I not attacked the, let's face it, DISGUSTING buildup on my desk and under my keyboard, it would have easily taken just 15 minutes). Papers were filed, meaningless post-it notes thrown away, and general paper clutter was tossed. Amazing what a load straightening up takes off of your mind! I capped off my busy-bee-ness by noting a list of things to do/work on AFTER maternity leave, so I wouldn't forget about them. I can only imagine what 3 months spent at home with an infant might do to my memory power when it comes to going back to work!

One Month.

Today, October 7th, I am officially 8 months pregnant. And I didn't even realize it until I looked at my calendar during a staff meeting and saw where I had written, "8 months pregnant!" Being 8 months pregnant is a little different than I expected - for one, I thought I would look and feel like a beached whale, which has not been the case (well, except for when I try to get out of bed in the mornings :). It just sounds so dramatic - 8 months! I do feel Pregnant with a capital "P," though!

Had a rather comical lunchtime visit to Babies 'R Us, where I loaded up on the major things we still need. Just felt all of a sudden like it was of the utmost importance to get stocked up and ready. Whether that qualifies as "nesting" or not, I have no idea!

No matter what, Nublette will definitely make her grand debut when she's ready, whether that's next week or next month!

35 Weeks...

Once again, here we are :) Just 5 weeks until Nublette's due date. I am still feeling good - better, even, than I was last week. I have more energy and have been sleeping well again (there were a few days there when I did not sleep well at ALL). I just started being more consistent with taking iron supplements though, which I think has helped a great deal. I was, in fact, slightly anemic when they checked about 6 weeks ago...I guess it was still a little higher than most preggo women's, which is why they initially told me my iron "looked good." May also explain why I was so into red meat the past couple of weeks!

I do think I have started having (or have started noticing) Braxton-Hicks contractions. They are hard to explain, though, and whatever I'm feeling isn't really what I thought they'd be like. Just means my body's gearing up for the big day...which hopefully will come after Jake and Holly's wedding, and the PE test! Nublette, just stay in there until Oct. 25th!

We did go to our last baby class (except for a one night one that I'll go to on breastfeeding next week) on Tuesday night. It covered what happens in the hospital after the baby is born, recovery once you go home, some infant care, etc. We practiced swaddling too, and Brent kept the back-up teacher (I think? random woman who came in towards the end) laughing throughout the practice time. He is so great!

Also had a checkup on Wedneday - Nublette is measuring at 36 weeks, which was slightly higher than the doctor's age of 34 weeks, but still within the normal range. My blood pressure was great, heartbeat was great. We'll go back in two weeks to see if anything is "stirring" before we head off to the wedding. If not, I can go, if so...plan B :)

Nublette's First Photo Shoot

For whatever reason, both the site I work for, MyRecipes.com and our sister decorating site, MyHomeIdeas.com, decided to produce features on hosting baby showers at the same time. So, yours truly was asked to be the model for both - we are just crossing our fingers and hoping that no one notices the similarities :) In any case, while the MyRecipes.com article won't go live until next March, the MyHomeIdeas.com gallery feature was published this week! Incidentally, it also features Katherine Culp (in the pink shirt), one of my friends from Davidson, who luckily had some time off from med school to join us!

You can see the gallery here.


A funny sidenote: The present that I am opening in the first slide is actually a kids' dining set shaped like a turtle, which my coworker Ashley received in the mail from a vendor. The MHI team had only an empty bag, but wanted the actual "present opening action," so Ashley ran upstairs to get the turtle dining set sampler, and all was well.

34 weeks...or 6 weeks to go!

In only a month and a half (give or take a bit :), Nublette will be here! Amazing. Time is flying and dragging all at the same time...but there's starting to be a sense of urgency since she could basically come anytime between now and then. I've started to think along the lines of "ok, if I went into labor TOMORROW, what would need to be done?" So I worked on the nursery a bit last weekend (mostly just organizing and washing the clothes and blankets we've gotten so far) and also started packing my hospital bag. It's fun to actually be close enough to the time that you can start preparing things for real.

I've also started conversations at work about who will handle what while I'm gone, what we need to make sure gets done, et cetera. We've being doing our hard-core planning for the Holidays package, and it's a little disconcerting to think "wow, I won't actually be programming ANY of this!" Once again, I feel sooooooooo blessed to work in an environment that's so supportive of mothers and family. Everyone is just excited for me, rather than making me fear for my job or something.

Seems like my tummy is just getting bigger and bigger, though frankly I'm not as big as I guess I expected to be - at least at this point. But everything is measuring on track so we're good to go. We've got another baby class on Tuesday night and another appointment on Wednesday, so baby stuff galore again this week.

I Cannot Wait...

To eat a ham and cheese sandwich again! And have a glass of wine. (Maybe even together, even though that doesn't really sound appealing). And of course to meet our baby too! But as I was making my PB&J sandwich this morning to take to work for lunch, I couldn't help but cast a covetous eye at Brent's fresh package of honey-smoked turkey. Mmmm :) Ham sandwiches were a staple of my workday diet back when I was on Weight Watchers, and I'm really looking forward to having them again! Relaxing with a nice glass of wine or margarita will be great too. Not being able to have these things really hasn't been bad at all (at least not once I got used to it), but I sure will enjoy them after Nublette's born!

Speaking of food - I have actually been craving fresh veggies lately. Now THAT is weird for me! So much so that I had a nice salad yesterday to go with my PB&J sandwich (which I'd already eaten before 10 am, hah!), and then got some celery (WHAT?) and baby carrots at the store. Had some baby carrots and Ranch dressing for a snack today and it was pure heaven. Figured I'd better take advantage of this while it lasts, since my cravings are usually more chocolate-oriented than baby carrots :). I've also been more interested in red meat than usual. My sweet husband grilled cheeseburgers on Friday night and a nice sirloin last night, and both were delicious!

33 Weeks...

When I first got contacts in the 9th grade, the doc's assistant put them in for me. (Or is it a nurse? Dad would have to weigh in here with his expertise in the area of the UAB School of Optometry eye clinic.) This was so that you could practice taking them out first, then try putting them in yourself afterwards. The exchange that followed went something like this:

"AHHHH...!" ~ me (frantically wants to rub eye but resists)
"Uh oh...Does it feel like there's something in your eye?" ~ seemingly-concerned assistant
"YES!" ~ me
"That's because there is, dummy." ~ not-so-concerned assistant (ok, she didn't actually say dummy, but her tone did :)

That's kind of how I feel now! Sometimes my tummy just feels so FULL - almost like there's a giant air bubble at times - and I think, "It feels like there's something in there!" When I do, I can't help but laugh and remember getting those contacts so many years ago. Nublette is definitely making her presence known to the outside world more and more every day now!

We had a double dose of baby stuff this week: first, an installment of regular baby classes on Tuesday night, then a checkup on Wednesday afternoon Honestly, we didn't learn too much at the class that we hadn't already heard, though it was kind of interesting to just listen to the difference in attitudes between the nurse who is running this class (who openly said she was very pro-epidural but that she'd try to remember to cover the natural stuff) and the nurse who taught our natural class. We're picking and choosing which classes to go to out of the four, since we've already covered some topics, so we'll go again in two weeks to hear about postpartum stuff and infant care.

The appointment went well, which of course I'm thankful for. I do wonder sometimes, though, how much $$ the doctors make for that 5 min or so they spend with you. They basically listen to the heartbeat, look at your weight and blood pressure #s (well i'm guessing they do - maybe not), and measure your tummy, then say "see you in X weeks!" Lots of waiting around for basically nothing. I know there isn't much money in these things and that they probably rush to get as many patients in as possible, and of course I've been very healthy this whole time and haven't had any problems, but it does frustrate me a little. Not once have they ever asked what I'm eating, if I'm exercising, if I'm having certain symptoms, etc. Just part of the way our healthcare system works out, I guess. Anyway, we go back in two weeks now :)

Overall I still feel pretty good. I've been sleeping less (somehow find the energy to stay up till 11 pm or midnight and get up around 6:30), but don't often feel that tired during the day (even without caffeine), and I am sleeping through the night. I will say, though, that the women's bathroom at work and I have become BEST friends lately :) Also still have some general aches and pains, but nothing to compare to the excruciating, chronic back pain I had in college (Kristen can attest to what that was like!). They're more annoyances that make me move slower than anything to complain about!

Guess that's it - hoping to get the baby's room organized this weekend while Brent studies for the PE (Professional Engineer, NOT Physical Education) exam!

32 Weeks...

Now, I know you were all crying and sad yesterday when there was no update :) I have been trying to get to work earlier, which left no time for getting the pics ready to go in the morning as I usually do. So here goes...

Here I am at 32 weeks. Now, I don't know if it's the shirt, my imagination, or reality, but looks to me like Nublette has a) grown twice her size again (and gaining 1/2 lb a week now, according to the books), and b) has gotten lower in my belly. Maybe she has, because it doesn't feel like she's all up in my ribs anymore. Who knows!



Here are some more 32 week pics from dinner with my parents last night:






She has been very active this week, which has been a lot of fun. One night while Brent was reading in bed, I just watched my belly jump and tried to guess what body part was poking out. Pretty much next to impossible as my tummy isn't tight as a drum yet, but still fun to watch. Supposedly she will settle down a bit in the next two or three weeks as she decides on a birth position. Let's all think happy thoughts for head-down :) My sweet husband had already entered the world at this point (he was just too excited), so it's exciting and sobering all at the same time to think that Nublette could join us at any time now and have an excellent chance at everything being ok. I'm so excited to meet her, but also hopes she keeps baking awhile longer!

This has been the first week that I've had LOTS of people ask me when i'm due, etc - I've been showing for awhile but have definitely "popped" in the last couple of weeks. It's funny how your tummy suddenly becomes a topic of conversation, even with strangers! I also started sitting on an exercise ball at work, which is somewhat more comfortable than my office chair. That draws comments as well!

Guess that's about it! We have a baby class on Tues night and an appointment on Wednesday afternoon with another doctor in the practice. After this week, we will start going every two weeks, and I hear that time really flies then!

31 Weeks...

Wow, a lot has changed in the past week! Suddenly I am more tired, more hormonal (at times), cannot eat very much before getting full, and also get breathless very easily (mostly because Nublette has pretty much grown up into my ribs!). But nothing to complain about - I consider these things more practice for thinking positively. I can either choose to focus on being uncomfortable, or I can be thankful for the reason that I am uncomfortable. More and more I am learning how to choose the latter - and it makes it a lot easier to deal with :).

Not much to report on Nublette herself, though I seriously feel like she doubled in size this past week and she's on a "schedule," it seems - she'll kick a little throughout the day (mostly after I eat), but sometimes acts like a Mexican jumping bean when I'm lying down to go to sleep, or after I wake up. Not sure if she's excited and dancing, or pissed off and saying "mommy please sit up!". I like to think she's dancing :)

We have also had a really good week! Football kicked off, and we ate absolutely ridiculous amounts of delicious food with some friends on Saturday - actually I really did not eat all that much, it just FELT like I did, and when we were going to bed Brent found me kneeling on the bed in a rather unusual position because it helped my stomach feel so much better. He laughed but I just said, "I can see why this is supposed to help in labor!" We've also had some great talks and fun times - it is neat to see how God has grown our relationship so much throughout this pregnancy's ups and downs as well. We talk a lot about the value of short engagements, but I'm sure God knew what he was doing when he gave us 9 months to adjust to bringing a new life into the world!

My co-workers also threw us a laidback shower last night, which was so much fun, and very sweet of them to do. I am so blessed to get to spend my work days with them!

Just 9 more weeks to go!

30 Weeks...

It's Friday, which means that we are another week closer to Nublette's arrival. Wow! It's kind of funny, actually, because I remember visiting our friends that had a baby a month ago when SHE was 30 weeks pregnant. At the time, that seemed so far off, and I wasn't even showing yet!

The big baby stuff from this week was our natural childbirth class, which we went to on Tuesday night - ended up postponing the regular class until September, and had a perfectly lovely, rainy Saturday with friends instead :) The class actually made me feel a LOT better about a LOT of things - mostly the sorts of options you have during labor, like being able to eat (lightly), not have an IV, only 15 minutes of fetal monitoring every hour, etc. Those are all things that help labor along, while the opposite - ice chips only, IVs, constant monitoring, etc (all required if you have an epidural) - can really make it tougher, since IVs and monitoring generally mean you're confined to the bed (which can slow labor and make it more painful), and it just seems like a full-body physical activity like labor could use a little more caloric fuel than ice chips provide :) Brookwood also just got birthing balls and squat bars a few months ago (also great if you're wanting a natural birth), so that was great to know that they are available.

Brent and I actually had a lot of fun with the relaxation and breathing exercises, even though they felt kind of corny to be doing them when i wasn't in labor. The nurse who was teaching it would probably say we had a little too much fun, lol :) She gave us clothespins to put on our earlobes (which really didn't hurt) to give us some sort of painful distraction to use during the exercises, and mentioned that you could also use ice cubes to practice at home. Now, this was something I could get my mind around. When I was little, I lived in deadly fear of my yearly checkup and finger pricking (yes, I recognize the irony of a person who used to be afraid of getting her finger pricked opting for natural childbirth, but that's a whole other discussion), so sometimes I would "practice" by biting my finger periodically for weeks beforehand (which surely hurt more than the finger stick!) So practicing relaxed breathing while holding an ice cube is actually right up my alley. And while surely it is nothing like labor, I do think that the practice of staying calm when you're uncomfortable is probably very helpful.

I think the best part of the class was just knowing that Brent and I are in this together. Labor and delivery will be the same as anything else tough we've been through - as long as we don't quit and stay relaxed and let God handle it, I know everything will turn out fine, though I'm learning not to have an expectation for what "fine" means. I am also grateful that I am married to a man who is so funny and relaxed and knows how to make me laugh, as I'm confident that that will be a GREAT help when things get hard.

Guess that's it for the week!

29 Weeks...

Well, the fabled third-trimester exhaustion may be rearing its ugly head now :) I've been super tired the past few days, even though (I think) I'm sleeping pretty well, eating the same stuff, exercising, etc. Hopefully it's just a passing thing, but I'm determined not to let it slow me down too much these last few months! I'm definitely moving slower in general, though, and have taken on the pregnancy "waddle." Something about how my weight sits on my ever-widening joints just makes me waddle naturally. I think I can almost feel my hips spreading as we speak!

Unless the doctor's office forgot to call me or something, it appears that I passed my glucose tolerance test - YAY! They only call if there is a problem, apparently. It was not so bad. The drink tasted like a thick, syrupy Sunkist and I felt pretty good during the hour that we had to wait. Since I took it so late in the afternoon they wouldn't have had the results until Thursday, but they did also tell me on Wed afternoon that I'm not anemic (fairly common at this point in pregnancy), so that's great news too. Everything else looked good - I measured about 29 weeks, so right on track for "my" due date, and about a week ahead of the official doctor due date. Since the ultrasound measured her a week ahead too, that makes a lot of sense. I'm predicting that she will come on Election Day!

We're taking the day-long prepared childbirth class tomorrow, so a little information overload I'm sure, but it will be nice to go ahead and get it out of the way. I'm especially interested to see the actual L&D area, nursery, etc, and hear about how all that works. The natural childbirth class will be Tuesday night, so it's "school time" for the Shepherds this week!

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes...

It truly is amazing how people try to treat pregnant women as if they are china dolls who will break in the slightest wind.  As I've gotten bigger, people seem more and more concerned with my health and not wanting me to work too hard. I'm sure if I rode buses, people would be trying to give me their seats. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the concern and respect that these things imply!  But I think there is an unspoken rule in our society that pregnant women must be catered to at all moments.  We are told to rest as much as possible, demand foot rubs from our husbands every day as a "reward" of sorts from carrying their children, and turn up our noses when someone smokes within a 1-mile radius of our tender tummies.  I've gotten a vibe a number of times, especially from Brent's male (and often unmarried) friends, that they are shocked that he does not cater to me hand and foot.  The few times someone has actually said something, I usually respond, "I'm pregnant, not dead!"  I often had people tell me that I was a "trooper" for going out on the town with our friends, when everyone is having a grand time drinking and I'm double-fisting my Shirley Temple and water :)  It surprises people that I would rather go out and have the best time I can than play the "pregnancy card" and make us both stay home.  And that surprises me.

Granted, I went through a phase early in my pregnancy when I wanted to be treated like a princess and adored by everyone for the miracle of life growing inside my belly.  Who wouldn't?  But I've come to realize that treating myself like an accident waiting to happen, or enjoying it when others treat me that way, does nothing to mature me as a woman.  Sure, there will probably come a time, not too long from now, when certain things simply harder for me to do, and I may need some extra help.  But a slower, less active final month or so doesn't mean that I am helpless now.  As the weeks have worn on, I've shifted from wanting to be treated as "special" to pushing myself to take on challenges, however small.  

And I'm aware that I've had a really easy pregnancy, so maybe this is all too easy for me to say.  But, I'm no longer sure that an easy pregnancy is the great blessing I've been saying it is, even though I'm incredibly grateful for it.  I might have learned more during these past 6 months had I been sick as a dog!  I've come to see more and more that the greatest blessings come in the most painful of wrappings -- which is just one of many reasons I am praying for the opportunity to have a natural childbirth come November.  I can't control what will happen, but I'm hopeful that I will have the chance to face one of the greatest challenges there is, and to experience the great blessing that I know lies in walking through that challenge with God.

This is all to say that while I think pregnant women should certainly take care of themselves, I also think that this attitude of catering to our every need really does us a disservice.  The very concept of having time to be catered to must be a fairly new one; certainly pioneer men couldn't be expected to be giving footrubs to their pregnant wives on the Oregon Trail.  When simple survival took everything a couple had, there was no time for putting feet up on the couch (and no couch to begin with!)  While we look back at those more "difficult" times as primitive, something not to be returned to, I wonder if our easy lives are really the great blessing they seem.  Are we exchanging great spiritual and emotional blessings for fleeting physical ones?

28 weeks...

Time just continues to roll on past! I am still feeling great and am so thankful for that.

Not much to report, other than that we have a baby doc appt on Wednesday. They will be checking my blood glucose level to screen for gestational diabetes. It's kind of a big test because if you fail it then you have to take a 3-hour test, which I hear is not only really unpleasant, but also can label you with gestational diabetes ~ which also means they'll be on the watch for the baby being "too big" or whatever (and all the more likely to push an induction/c-section). If I have it I have it, but I seriously doubt that I do. I know what it feels like to have blood sugar swings and I have adjusted how I eat (lots of protein, frequent small meals) so that this basically never happens anymore. So, I'm pretty confident going into the test. Not sure what else they do at this appointment, but I think we may start going every 2 weeks after this one. Time will really fly then!

27 weeks down...and third trimester?

Today marks the beginning of week 28, and according to some sources that means I am in my 3rd trimester, which is when things really start to roll! More doctor visits, more baby movement, bigger belly, registering, showers, and of course, Auburn football, lol :) Still more unbelievable each week!

I've been a ravenous beast lately, which is pretty unusual for me - it's strange to feel like I can't get full even when I do eat. But I figure that Nublette is having a growth spurt, so I'm just trying to keep exercising and eating decently and hoping for the best - though I've definitely been eating twice what I normally would the past few days!

Brent got to feel Nublette kick last night, which was really fun! Totally by accident, and she was doing some sort of crazy movement that could have been a somersault and jumping jack all at the same time. I like to think that she was just anxious for her Daddy to feel her and was saying "here, i am kicking with all my might, Daddy!"

Finally, we got to visit some friends and their new baby in the hospital last Friday, which was fun and a little nerve-wracking for both of us all at the same time. So hard to believe that we will have a teeny tiny baby like that in just 3 months! But they were both doing great and their daughter is absolutely gorgeous. Congrats to Dave and Lori!

Recent Pics!

It's been awhile since I posted any pics to the blog, though I've been catching them up on Facebook. Here are a few from the past few weeks:

21 weeks (ok, not so recent) - lol i look silly in this pic but the good 21-week one won't show up right-side up, for some reason.

between 26 and 27 weeks - almost beginning of 3rd trimester! 

Well, She Won't Be Wandering the Streets...

At long last, we have actually SECURED A SPOT AT A DAYCARE! Whoo hoo! We'd settled on this particular one about a month ago, but when I went to enroll Nublette, she said that there were no official openings for babies coming in February, but to check back in a month in case she's able to make it work. I called today and she said that she would hold one of the Nov '07 babies' spots until we needed it! I had gotten the vibe from her back in June that everything would probably work out, and haven't really been worried about it, but it's sooooo nice to know that's taken care for sure. The daycare is one of what I've started referring to as a "public schools of daycare". In other words, they don't teach Mandarin Chinese to two-year-olds or have detailed weekly lesson plans for infants. (Ok, so the Chinese is a bit of an exaggeration, but there are definitely several daycares in the area that brag about their intensive lesson plans and goals and whatnot. I'm thinking "THEY'RE BABIES, for heaven's sake!") It is only about 5 min from work and already on my commute, which is a huge help. The facilities seem clean and bright, and I feel good about the director. She seems like a straight-shooter, which I've come to prefer over the "admissions office" type feel of some of the "private school" daycares I visited. So thank goodness for that!

Also looked at a dresser from Craigslist that I thought would be great, but it was poorly made and we decided to pass on it. The search continues :) Once we find one, we should be done with the major nursery furniture.

25 Weeks...

Not much to report this week! We went to the doctor on Wednesday and everything looked good. It's amazing how easily she found the heartbeat this time. The last time they listened was at 17 weeks and it took her awhile to get a lock on it, but Baby Nublette's heartbeat is now quite strong, and she's getting bigger! My weekly newsletter update says that she should be about 9 inches long and 1.5 lbs (though she may be even bigger than that since they guessed at the ultrasound at almost 21 weeks that she was about 1 lb already).

I'm trying to get back on track with eating well, walking, and yoga as well - not that I've been eating horribly or anything, I've just probably had a few too many sweets here and there without really noticing it. Actually tracking what I eat is such a great psychological tool for me, and I want to get back in the habit this last half of the pregnancy so that I'll have some good habits reestablished by the time the baby's here. Tracking also lets me splurge here and there without feeling guilty about it or overdoing it. The pounds have been coming on pretty quickly lately, which I know is a) normal and b) partly water weight, but still, it's a little TOO quickly -- unless my body's making up for the first trimester! :)

Getting back into walking and yoga has helped my energy level a lot, I know. I walked pretty steadily during the first trimester because I was in a walking competition at work, and then fell off for a month or two -- and my energy levels definitely plummeted, to where I would have a hard time staying awake past 9 or so. But ever since I started taking my twice-daily walks at work again, I've felt a lot better and have so much more energy. I've also realized that if I play my cards right, I can squeeze in a 15-minute prenatal yoga routine before work, so I'm hoping to keep that up on weekdays. It's not a full blown workout, but I've come to realize that just doing what I can is plenty right now. And as FLYLady says, you can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes! :) In any case, it should help a lot with flexibility, balance, and strength. I will say, though, that doing this routine at 25 weeks pregnant is a LOT different than doing it at 12 weeks!

We've got a busy few months ahead, but I'm looking forward to them! In just a month we'll be going to childbirth classes - hard to believe!

Dragon Strikes Again...

Lately we've taken to calling the ever-amusing Star (our 4-year-old English lab) "Dragon." Now, Star has a number of personality quirks that make her the loveable Star-Baby that she is today, but she's definitely a unique dog. One of her defining characteristics is her snorting and snoring, which tend to get worse when she's excited or otherwise trying to express herself. At time she actually sounds like a little pig! While the allergies have gottten a lot better since we got her on a better diet and some supplements (mmm, fish oil!), Star still snorts. It's really only a problem in the mornings, when she will snore if she's still asleep, or snort/growl at Bojangles when he wakes up and wants to play, but she hasn't had her morning coffee yet. Combine this snorting with the sound of their nails scratching on the polyster dog bed, licking, and scratching so violently that they bang the closet door, and you've got a very noisy bedroom once the alarms go off and the dogs wake up. It's pretty hilarious (once we're awake enough to appreciate the moment).

Besides being her own percussion set, Star is known for her stealth food burglaries. She's smart enough not to beg for human food, but waits for the "opportune moment" to make her move -- and always manages Houdini-like maneuvers that seem far beyond the capabilities of any normal dog. For instance, at Brent's bachelor party at the farm, she snuck into the kitchen at night and devoured an entire plate of brownies that had been sitting on the table. She didn't get sick, but Brent did wake up at 5 am to Star-Baby staring at him with a crazed look in her eye. While we were at the beach, she somehow got the remains of a fish filet out of the kitchen trash can (easily taller than she is) without disturbing anything else. That time we did catch her with the fish skin guiltily hanging from her mouth.

Dragon's latest crime involved at least half a bag of White Cheddar Cheetos. Some friends (and their dog) joined us for dinner last weekend, and while we were all inside eating, we left the dogs on the porch and thought they were all behaving quite nicely. Little did we know that all the while, Star was plotting her next food-napping. After dinner we discovered that all of the Cheetos were gone, and the bag had been ripped open! The situation had Star-Baby written all over it (nothing was knocked over), but we couldn't be sure -- until one of our friends discovered the black dog hair stuck all inside the bag. (The other dogs were yellowish). Brent asked for a replacement bag this week, and needless to say, we're keeping it safe inside our kitchen cabinets this time!

24 Weeks!

I know I say it all the time, but it truly is hard to believe how fast time is flying. Today finds us at the end of 24 weeks...which if you count 4-week months (some books do), puts us at the end of 6 months (but that's assuming an actually 10-month pregnancy :) ). We're also three weeks from the start of the 3rd trimester - yikes!

I've definitely noticed some changes since the last time I posted an update. Little Nublette is getting too big for her britches already and seems to have major growth spurts overnight. (I'm hoping to post some pics from 21 and 24 weeks soon!) She sometimes kicks hard enough to make my whole belly move, though she still hasn't kicked hard enough for her Daddy to feel -- hopefully soon! From what I read it sounds like it's pretty typical not to be able to feel them from the outside until about 28 weeks. So we still have a few more to go. These next four weeks are supposed to another huge growth spurt for Nublette (after that it slows down a little, I think), so we'll see what happens!

Also, in the last week I've noticed it's starting to get harder to change positions (like getting up from sitting, rolling over in bed, etc). Just takes a lot more effort, and even a little grunting from time to time :) I'm definitely feeling the hot Alabama summer too. I've started gravitating towards "cold" foods (popsicles, cream pie, chicken salad, sushi, cold leftover mashed potatoes, etc) because sometimes when I eat something steaming hot, I feel like I'm going to overheat! I'm just thankful that I'm not eight or nine months pregnant right now. And I'm praying for a colder-than-normal fall this year.

Week 25, here we come! Oh, and we have a doc appointment on Wednesday. We'll get to meet another one of the doctors in the practice, but other than that, I don't think there's much to it.

Confessions of a Recovering Control Freak

I've been on top of the world lately. While some of it could be those crazy hormones :), I think a lot of it has come from reflecting on a lot of things in life -- such as what a wonderful opportunity pregnancy is to learn to relax and trust in God. When I was little (or not so little...), Mom used to tell me, "Emily, if you're not in charge, you're not happy." And it was true. But I didn't see the extent of this characteristic until I got married, and I certainly didn't see how detrimental it is to one's life - both the emotional and spiritual sides. The funny thing is, I've realized that the "happiness" that comes from being in charge and being in control is only an illusion, a lie. Because if control is the basis of your happiness, what happens when that control is threatened? We get angry, resentful, unthankful -- all of which make us categorically unhappy. And then you spend all of your energy trying to defend your control, or to regain it, instead of relaxing and enjoying what life has in store for you.

The pregnancy lessons in letting go and relaxing really began when the test came up positive. We'd heard that most people keep it quiet the first 12 weeks because of the risks of miscarriage. One of the most unsettling things about this point in pregnancy is that miscarriage is a real risk, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it. Even if you take good care of yourself and do all the "right" things, it's still a real risk. No matter how much you want that baby to survive, you can't control whether it does or not. So we struggled at first with whether or not to tell friends and family, but then quickly realized that we were far better off thinking positively and sharing our excitement with others, rather than living in fear for 12 long weeks. We had to let go and trust God that even if we did have a miscarriage, that in some way, God intended it for our good. Even at that early stage I realized that this letting go was a process we'd have to go through again and again throughout our lives, for there are real risks in the world and you can't protect your children from all of them. Or even some of them.

Recently we worked through some issues surrounding what I wanted for the actual birth, and once again I was faced with the fact that I wasn't trusting in God to give us the birth that we need, not the birth that we want. All of my worrying and researching wasn't going to do any good in determining the outcome, and really I needed to just let go and trust the Lord and my sweet husband to take care of me.

You know what the funny thing is? The more I let go and don't try to control my life, the happier and more thankful I am, and the more I realize that I never was truly happy being in control. Of course, Brent told me this would be the case all along, but it's one of those things that has to be experienced to be believed. And because of that, I'm all the more thankful for my husband too ~ for loving me enough to help me with what I need, not with what I want, and for having the courage to take on the challenges of marrying a recovering control freak :). I have no idea what my life would be without him and he is the greatest blessing I have ever known. I love you sweetheart!!

"Preggo Brain"

One of Brent's fondest statistics as of late, and one of my best excuses for doing stupid things, is that supposedly a woman's brain shrinks 5% during pregnancy. It supposedly returns to regular size after the precious bundle arrives, but I hear it's only to be replaced by "mommy brain." It's a fairly common occurrence, apparently, and has been rearing its not-so-pretty head in our household lately. From just totally forgetting what was just said to attempting to put stuff in weird places (luckily I tend to catch myself shortly thereafter), it's a cause for laughs all around.

My favorite example so far happened a couple of weeks ago. It was Saturday morning and I was making breakfast for us, a lovely smorgasboard of eggs, venison sausage, and grits. A few weeks before I'd made grits for the first time (or the first time in a long time, perhaps) and very much overdid it on the amount. (They should have a disclaimer on the package to tell you that "4 servings" really means 8 servings for normal people...) So I was planning to scale back and thoroughly studied the directions to decide how much water I needed. I boiled the right amount of water for around 1.5 "real" servings, then added the same amount of grits. NOTE TO EMILY: GRITS ARE NOT LIKE RICE. IT IS NOT A 1:1 RATIO.

So as soon as I added the grits, all I ended up with was a sticky mass, instead of the watery concoction that is supposed to cook down over the next 5 minutes or so. I could not, for the life of me, figure out what I did wrong, so I kept adding water to hopefully get the right consistency - and while the grits were edible, we ended up with MORE grits than we did the first time I made them! Brent though I had just lost my mind and decided to make too many grits again, and I kept insisting, "My intentions were good! I put in the right amount of water and I don't know what happened!" It probably took me a full 15-20 minutes to realize that I had simply not scaled down the grits measurements too.

Chalk it up to preggo brain :)

It's a...

Nublette! Yes, according to all signs at our ultrasound on Wednesday, Brent and I will be welcoming a little girl into our family in November. It seems that many of our family members predicted a girl (though none of them shared this with us until after the fact - very suspicious, you guys :)) but most of our friends, with one exception, predicted a boy. Regardless, we are excited and it's great to be able to actually say "she" instead of "it"!

Though the appointment was great, it was definitely an adrenaline ride leading up to it! When we got to Brookwood, we herded into the elevator (the THIRD one required to get from the parking deck to the dr's office!) along with several other pregnant women and their husbands -- and the elevator didn't move. After a few mintues, one of the husbands pulled the emergency alarm, and the elevator went up to the 2nd floor and stopped again. He pulled it once more, but not before the elevator repairman met us and we all unloaded. While we were waiting on the other elevator, the fire alarm went off!! No one seemed that concerned so we found the stairs and started hiking up to the 7th floor. We then rushed breathlessly into the ultrasound waiting room...only to be told that the ultrasound tech had left for the day, but that they hadn't cancelled our appointment because I was still due to see the doctor. We were both pretty fuming mad, mostly because no one had told us and we'd taken off work early. As Brent said, "SOMEBODY is going to tell me what's in there, even if it's one of the doctors!!!"

So we went over to the doctor's office and went through the usual rigamarole of weight, blood pressure, and peeing in a cup, then waited on Dr. S for at least 30 minutes before the ultrasound tech poked her head in the door and said to come back around! Of course, we rushed back over and were back in the waiting room with everyone else who was in the same situation, including a family where one set of grandparents, two siblings, and the pregnant woman and her husband were ALL present for the "big reveal." I mean, wow.

Once we got in the room, all was good and we found out that the poor woman had been testifying in court all day! Our scan was probably quicker than normal as she had to get to everyone else too, but she got too pretty good shots that showed that we're having a girl. We asked how sure she really was, and she said: "Well I can't say for sure because the doctors won't let me, but OFF THE RECORD, I would have no problem buying pink for her baby shower and throwing away the receipts." Other good news is that she is either due slightly earlier than expected or going to be on the tall side :)

Anyway, I'm hoping to post a picture of little Nublette sometime soon - you can actually see her head, hands by her head, and little tiny feet (and toes!) Apparently she is about 7 inches long now (the size of a large banana, hard to believe!) and she's definitely active, especially after I eat.

Honey, It's Time...

No, not time to go to the hospital - not yet! Time to undergo that all-important maternity rite of passage: going shopping for maternity clothes. After staring down my dwindling collection of wearable pre-pregnancy clothes (and watching the outside thermostat go up!), I decided it was time to venture out for some comfy summer clothes that I could wear to work. So, I spent a lunch break at Motherhood Maternity in Brookwood Mall - which, despite having occupied the same location since Brookwood remodeled in like 1999, I had never noticed before.

Probably the strangest experience of maternity shopping is trying on clothing with a small, thick pillow thing strapped to your stomach. No, this is not like "the belly" that Bianca Stratford is forced to wear in 10 Things I Hate About You (thanks for the reminder, Kristen!), which is really what I expected. More just like a round pillow thing, so that you can make sure the clothes will still fit later on. All I kept thinking was "I can't believe I'll EVER be that big!" but of course, I will!

Anyway, after carefully going through each piece and weighing what I could wear at work and what would be versatile, I got a couple of skirts, two more gypsy-ish shirts (which I love anyway), and a few basic colored tees that I can wear with pretty much anything. Anyone who knows me well knows I can't live without my denim skirts, so I was glad to find a maternity version that I'm sure I'll wear ALL the time!

Also went through my closet and drawers this weekend to a) make more storage room in the other bedrooms and b) get rid of clothes that should have been gotten rid of a long time ago. It was really sort of shocking what was in there - some things dated from like freshman year of college, possibly earlier. If I was still wearing it (rare), I did keep it, but otherwise it's going to GoodWill. Also boxed up my regular clothes that I won't be wearing until post-baby. Good times :)

On the Move!

I started feeling little twinges a couple of weeks ago that made me think "hmmm, maybe that's the baby...but I'm not sure," but I'm pretty darn sure now that the Nublet is doing somersaults in there. Not so much kicks, more like little taps or squirming - yes, I know that sounds weird. Can't wait till Brent can feel them too!

Nublet was particularly active last night during the NBA Finals when the Lakers were still steamrolling the Celtics - could have been because it loves chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (which I was eating at the time), or maybe we have a future Lakers fan on our hands. Or else Nublet loves the sound of daddy's voice yelling "Starrrrr Baby!," as we are both known to do several times a day. Which makes me wonder - will we end up calling Nublet "Baby Baby"? In any case, this little one seems to still be as active as we saw on the ultrasound at 11 weeks, and loves to swim from one side of my tummy to the other, and back again.

Anyway, today brings us to 19 weeks. Crazy! Almost halfway through the pregnancy - feels like just yesterday we found out we were expecting.

Water Water Everywhere...

And I'm still thirsty! I've been drinking somewhere between 64 and 96 oz of water everyday, and you'd think I was in the Sahara desert. Luckily the constant thirst means that I don't miss not being able to have alcohol as much because that sure as heck doesn't help, but still. It's amazing. I think it has something to do with the increased blood flow, and it being really really really HOT now. But it is a strange feeling, as pre-pregnancy I would drink that much and feel like I was drowning! (And let's face it, just 6 months ago I was the Diet Coke queen and water rarely passed my lips.) I did get sick of plain water today and broke down and mixed a vitamin water in for a little flavor. Mmmmmm!

Interestingly, I also signed up for something called BabyYourself through BlueCross/BlueShield - I wasn't sure what exactly it was but figured hey, free insurance perks! Turns out you get like a gift every trimester (so gifts 1 and 2 are being UPS-ed to our door as we speak), free books, and a dedicated nurse that you can call and ask questions. I find it kind of sad that this nurse was far more helpful and talkative than either my OB or her nurse, but that was also encouraging. I like having another person we can call if we have a question, especially since she doesn't seem to be in the hurry that my OB office is all the time (not to mention she called to finish signing me up within a couple of hours - usually takes at least 3x that long to hear back from my doctor's nurse about something). And she made a point to call me by my name - I know it could be a gimmick to make it feel more personal, but you know what, it worked. My OB nurse surely never does that! (this was not really intended to be a gripe, more of a yay, our insurance rocks :) -- thanks SPC!)

Dream a Little Dream

One of my strangest pregnancy symptoms lately has been very vivid, intense dreams that I often remember the next day (or several days later). In the past couple of weeks, I have dreamed that a) I was one of the LOST survivors, got captured by the Others, and had to eat bugs for nutrition, b) we found out the sex of the baby by giving birth at 20 weeks, examining the baby, then stuffing it back in (lol, what?!), c) I gave birth to a baby that more resembled a cat than anything, and d) got shot in the neck. I've also been having trouble sleeping through the 2nd half of the night, probably as a result of the mental trauma I'm enduring during REM!

During my waking hours, I've become obsessed with baby furniture and daycare. While the furniture issue is a pretty straight-forward thing, daycare is apparently a competitive sport in Birmingham. For instance, when we got on the waiting list for Covenant's Mother's Day Out (which we likely won't use due to it being 3 days a week, 5 hours a day, and only during the school year), the lady told me to go ahead and get on the list for 2-year-old preschool. WHAT? Luckily, a co-worker who had her baby last Nov gave me a list of pretty much every daycare in the metropolitan area, which will be a great help when I take up the proverbial sword again next week and get serious about getting on these lists.

In other news, we're at 18 weeks today - one month into the 2nd trimester and nearly halfway through the pregnancy. Time is FLYING! Though I mentioned last week how many people said I didn't look pregant, one of those same people (Dad) said I was showing on Wed night, and when I picked up Brent's suit from the drycleaners, the lady asked me "when that baby was due." I thought I almost didn't hear her right because I'd never been asked that by a stranger, and flashes of that scene with Hugh Grant from "Two Weeks Notice" must have been flashing through her head. It was awesome and yet disconcerting all at the same time.

Belly Pics :)

Here are a couple of belly pics from the past couple of weeks - the one in the red shirt (which i think looks exaggerated b/c I had just eaten a huge dinner and wasn't drinking enough water) was taken at St. George, while the blue one was taken just before dinner with Kate, Pete, Stephanie, and Sara on Memorial Day.

It's Been Awhile!

Between going on vacation for a week and trying to get back in the swing of things at work, haven't had much of a chance to post about all the goings on!

First off, our vacation was great! We loved having the dogs with us at the beach, and they loved the water and sand and everything! We had a nice, relaxing time and enjoyed having some friends down over Memorial Day weekend as well. Ate lots of yummy seafood and we both managed to get pretty sunburned at times!! Hope to post some pictures down the road - and maybe even a video of Star not only retrieving a ball, but retrieving it out of the OCEAN! She denies it now, but the camera don't lie.

I'm somewhere in between 17 and 18 weeks now -- had an appt on Friday at 17 weeks exactly. Everything looked good, and my doctor found the heartbeat pretty quickly, which was a relief. Though apparently I spoke to soon on the last post when I said I all of a sudden looked pregnant, because no less than THREE people told me on Friday that I didn't look pregnant yet! Oh well - maybe just to me and Brent :) (and thanks to some creative dressing as well). But, the good news is that we got our appointment for the "big" ultrasound! On June 25th we should get to see the Nublet and find out if it's a boy or a girl, assuming he/she cooperates with positioning. Yay!!!

I've been reading a bunch lately as well - pregnancy books don't really interest me much because they all say the same thing and well, it's all going to pretty much take care of itself if nothing out of the ordinary happens. "Sacred Parenting" by Gary Thomas is great - talks about looking at parenting as a way that God sanctifies us, much the way that marriage does (as he talks about in our favorite "Sacred Marriage" book). Ina May Gaskin's "Guide to Childbirth" is also a great book with lots of positive stories and a view that birth is a natural process, not a medical emergency that needs to be helped along by doctors every step of the way or else something will definitely go wrong - a breath of fresh air among all the other books about it. (I recently ran into this attitude again when I tried to reschedule my Fri appt for a couple of weeks later so that we could go ahead and get the "big" ultrasound - the nurse freaked out and told me that was unacceptable to have more than 4 weeks between appts so that they could check on me, and tried to guilt-trip me by saying "you know, I would THINK that your appointments would be a PRIORITY." I mean, of course it's a good idea to make sure everything's ok on a regular basis, but it's not like the doctor does much to keep you pregnant, or can do much if something has gone seriously wrong.)

"Baby Bargains" is another good book, kind of like the Consumer Reports of baby stuff - what you do need, what you don't need, how much you need, when to buy it, which brands are best, etc. I've started researching some of the items and we started reorganizing the house this weekend, so that was exciting! Also got to help a pregnant friend pick out colors for her nursery (she was repainting), which was a lot of fun - and I surprised myself in actually feeling like I contributed something to the process. A couple of years ago I would have had no idea of what to suggest - maybe working in the South's ivory tower of decorating knowledge has rubbed off on me through osmosis or something :)

15 Weeks!

The first 9 or 10 weeks seemed to drag by - mostly because we kept having to readjust our estimated due date later and later. Now I can't believe it's already been 15 weeks!

Not much to report this week - it boggles my mind (in a good way) that even though i've eaten my share of "bad" food during this pregnancy, I've only gained like 1 lb. (Mostly put on during a stress-induced ice cream binge last week). I'm still 8 lbs lighter than I was when we started our post-holiday crazy diet in January. Some people don't gain a lot, though - maybe i'll be one of the lucky ones :) My body is definitely "shifting", i guess, but still. I can deal with that because it's out of my control!

We're headed for a week vacation (yay!) to St. George Island tomorrow and are super excited. We've heard such great things about it from friends and are really looking forward to a relaxing week on the beach. Some friends are coming down Memorial Day weekend to stay with us, so we'll have a full house! That will be great. We haven't been to the beach together since right after we got engaged, so it will be fun to get back. Plus, we can take the dogs, and I can't wait to see how they react to all the sand and water. I bet they have a blast! I know we can both really use the break from regular life, work, etc, and hopefully will come back rejuvenated and relaxed.

Strangers in a Strange Land

It's been a long couple of days - I was in charge of organizing and carrying out the itinerary for a couple of our New York office visitors.  At nearly every turn, something went wrong - the projector wouldn't work, I blew out the motherboard on my two-week-old laptop by plugging the ethernet cord into a digital phone jack (since when are those jacks the same size??), a program we were demoing as part of the visit wouldn't work as well on my Mac laptop that we used as a replacement, the woman who normally helps set up all these things had to go home sick yesterday, etc...it just started being funny, and I had to laugh.  "But of COURSE that broke!!" I started saying.  But I digress.  I'd met one of the NYC-ers before and had been up there myself, so I knew there were cultural differences.  Not just between NYC and Bham, but between the Time Inc Interactive offices and SPC.  A few choices moments:

Upon arrival at SPC:

New Yorker #1: Where could I get some coffee?

Me: Well, there's some regular coffee in our break room right there - and a fancy coffee machine downstairs - and Starbucks in the cafeteria.

NYC #1: Starbucks drip? 

Me: Um, yes?

NYC #1: What about espresso?

Me: No.

NYC #1: No espresso in the whole building?

Me: No...there's something like it in the fancy machine...but that's not really what it is.

NYC #1: Ohh...[shuffles off to get regular coffee with amazed look on face]

In the cafeteria:

New Yorker #2:[Holds up Mr. Pibb Zero bottle]  What's this?

Me: Um, I think it's Diet Mr. Pibb - you know, like how they call Diet Sprite "Sprite Zero" now.

New Yorker #2: [blank stare]

Cashier: [yells from across the room] It's like Dr. Pepper - it's the Coke product.

Me: Ohhhh...I didn't even realize that's what you were asking!

At lunch:

New Yorker #1: So um, this is going to sound kind of ignorant...

Me: That's ok. We get that a lot.

New Yorker #1: Ok - um, you know the movie Forrest Gump?  Where could I see a house like that?  You know, big and white?  And a pond?

Me: Well, you'd have to go to South Alabama.  About 2 hrs from here.  But we do have a pond on campus, just down the hill...

New Yorker #1: [looks sad] Ohh.

Anyway, good times with that - glad the two days of craziness are over, though!