"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." ~ I Samuel 1:27-28
Ever since Amy Grace was born, I've had to return to over and over again to this verse as a reminder of to whom our beautiful daughter truly belongs. Earlier in the chapter, Hannah (Samuel's mother) was barren, but prayed to the Lord for a son within earshot of Eli the priest. If she had a son, Hannah promised "to give him to the Lord for all the days of his life" (v.11). The Lord granted her request and she gave birth to Samuel. Once she had weaned him, she returned to the temple to fulfill her vow by entrusting her son to Eli's tutelage.
Though I doubt Amy Grace has priestly apprenticeship in her future, this verse anchors what my attitude should be towards her and God as I grow in mothering over the years. It helped through those first couple of rough weeks of breastfeeding and out-of-control hormones, as these words reminded me that "our" daughter is not really ours, but the Lord's, and we do not have to rely only on ourselves to care for her. The more I trusted God to provide for His daughter, the more I could relax and follow His direction and not worry about what to do or making mistakes. In Phillipians 4:6, Paul writes, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." This exhortation is no less true in parenting, but with all the books, research, advice, etc, swirling around out there in our fear-driven culture, that truth can get lost pretty easily unless you're focused on God's promise to provide.
More importantly, however, this verse reminds me that even at this young age, we must remember that God did not grant us Amy Grace to make us happy or fill some void by keeping her close to us. He entrusted us with His child to raise her up in His word and His truth, so that she may one day have a husband and family of her own - and most importantly, a life of her own. I've told Brent several times how much I want to be nothing but excited for our daughter as she grows up - not sad that she is no longer a little baby we can hold in our arms, but joyful to see her experiencing new things, from kindergarten to marriage. But I can also see how easily that goal is lost, as it is oh so tempting to want our cute, cuddly babies to stay that way. And as much time as they require, there's also a sense of pride and purpose that they need us so much, and I can easily see how a selfish desire to keep them needing us could color how we parent. However, I know that if I continue to turn to the Lord to keep my heart grounded in the fact that Amy Grace belongs to the Lord, not to us, and that one day she will be grown up and gone (and that that's a GOOD thing), I can mother her out of a desire to meet her needs, and not out of a desire for her to meet mine. And I'm very thankful for that.
